


Restless

by steverogersplz



Series: Restless [2]
Category: THE iDOLM@STER, THE iDOLM@STER: SideM
Genre: M/M, nothing violent like self harm, there will be depictions of depressive symptoms in case that bothers you!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-02-22 21:59:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13176051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steverogersplz/pseuds/steverogersplz
Summary: Michio watched the slow rise and fall of Jiro’s chest with half-lidded eyes. He saw dust floating around, catching the moonlight cast on the two of them. Beyond the window just above, he heard soft chirps of crickets mixing with the rhythmic breathing of the figure before him.Somehow, with more going on around him than usual, he felt tranquil. It beat the deafening silence of the nights alone in his own apartment.Before he realized, he’d closed his eyes, not giving a second thought to his worries as he fell soundly asleep.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first fic so blease be kind;;;; Special thanks to Robin for helping me edit!
> 
> I'm not entirely sure how long this'll end up being, but later chapters will have...~*~*mature content~*~**~ just so yall knows..... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Also, Rui's words in English are italicized!

“I dunno, ex-teachers? They seem kinda try-hard.”

 

He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop.

 

During his vacation, Michio came back home to spend time with his family for the week. It was nice; getting to help around in the house, shopping with his younger sister.

 

He’d returned one day to find his sister’s shoes by the door were accompanied by others with the same design. Ah, her friends from school must be over, he realized.

 

_‘Perhaps I should greet them… I’ll cut up fruits and bring it in for them and say a quick hello.’_

 

It was an unlucky coincidence he’d catch a part of their conversation as he tried to knock.

 

“Oi, Himiko…”

 

“Like, if I see my old teachers doing that stuff on stage? It’d be totally embarrassing!–OW! What d'you punch me for?!”

 

He’d almost dropped his tray, hearing those piercing words. Is that what young people truly thought of them?

 

“Don’t listen to this idiot, she doesn’t even realize whose house she’s at.”

 

“What are you talking about?!”

 

Michio stumbled back to the living room, setting the tray down. It probably wasn’t the best timing for him to enter at the moment. Before that, he needed time to calm his nerves. The sofa squeaked as he sat himself down, and he let out deep breaths while listening to the soft ticking of the clock on the table.

 

He’d been lucky enough to be surrounded by a supportive family and friends until now… but was that blinding him from the truth? Had he been making an idiot of himself?

 

Or worse, had he dragged those closest to him into his foolish antics, just because he believed it was a good idea?

 

He’d waited about ten minutes before approaching his sister’s room again. He hoped he gave no signs of having noticed anything; he walked in with the snacks and greeted them with a small smile. One girl seemed slightly flustered–he assumed she was Himiko–but didn’t seem to know he picked up anything.

 

So he was rather surprised when his sister questioned him later that night as they were washing the dishes.

 

“You overheard what my friend said, didn’t you?”

 

Michio blinked, and his hand slowed its wipe on the plate he was holding.

 

“You saw me?”

 

“No, but your face is an open book. I could tell something had hurt you.”

 

She turned to him and gave him a sympathetic smile.

 

“Don’t get discouraged, ok? Idols are bound to have people who don’t like them, no matter how many fans they have.”

 

She elbowed him lightly, her wet, yellow rubber gloves just avoiding staining his shirt.

 

“Take it to mean you’re getting more popular, big bro.”

 

“You’re getting soap water all over the sink.”

 

“I’m trying to cheer you up! Meanie.”

 

Michio chuckled. He was truly gifted, to have such a sweet younger sister. She knew he was bothered by something and came to encourage him.

 

Yes, he truly was gifted. Not only with her, but with supportive parents, coworkers, friends…

 

Maybe that was just the problem.

 

—

 

“Hazama-san?”

 

It’s been two weeks since then. The Producer greeted him back to work with news of a live concert; a huge one, starring specific units that included S.E.M.

 

Rui exclaimed with joy in English. Jiro laughed nervously at the mention of more lessons.

 

As for himself, he wasn’t so sure if this was the best timing.

 

“Hazama-san!”

 

“Ah--!”

 

Michio jolted back to reality to find Jiro’s hand on his shoulder. He adjusted his glasses before turning to face the man, who looked rather puzzled.

 

“Yamashita-kun, my apologies… Did you say something?”

 

He glanced at the clock on the other side of the office wall. When did it get so late?

 

“I asked if you wanted to come over for hotpot. Rui wanted to have a night to drink before having to cut down on calories again. He went ahead to buy ingredients.”

 

Jiro cocked an eyebrow at him.

 

“You all right? You seemed kind of… dazed, all day.”

 

At least, that’s what he was probably doing. It was hard to see his other eyebrow under that long hair of his, so he just kind of looked mildly surprised.

 

Michio hid his short laugh with a cough.

 

“I, well… I’m all right, really, don’t worry.”

 

The truth was, he had trouble sleeping since that day back home. The anxiety and doubt gnawed at his mind once everything was silent, and he was left alone to his devices. Some nights would go by while he tossed and turned in his sheets, trying to drown out the fear but unable to stop them from creeping into his head.

 

Once daylight broke, things were manageable. He could keep himself busy with tasks, too occupied to allow his lingering dread take over. However, the lack of sleep was bound to catch up to his health, and he spaced out once things would calm down.

 

He’d hoped it wasn’t so bad that anyone would notice, but that was wishful thinking he supposed.

 

“I’d love to come over. It’s been a while since we all hung out together.”

 

He smiled at the ex-chemistry teacher, hoping it’d have a reassuring effect. Jiro sighed, apparently not believing any of it, but then gave a wry grin back.

 

“Yeah, it has. Grab your bag, we should get going before Rui finishes shopping.”

 

Soon, the three of them filled the apartment with chatter, warming their bellies with hot soup and alcohol.

 

“Mister Yamashita, how was your vacation?”

 

“It was fine, I guess. Didn’t really do anything exciting though. Mostly slept and watched horse racing.”

 

Jiro took a sip of his beer. Rui pouted with disappointment.

 

“Boo… That’s such an old man vacation! You’re only 30, do more exciting things! _You only live once_!”

 

“Stop saying that. How about you, Hazama-san? You went back home for the week, right?”

 

“Ah… yes, I spent time with my family. I also got something for you two while shopping around with my sister. It’s nothing big, but…”

 

Michio rummaged through his bag and produced two small phone charms.

 

“Heh~? You really didn’t have to, Hazama-san. This is…”

 

Jiro let out a chortle, holding up his charm in the shape of a miniature scallion.

 

“ _Marvelous!_ I absolutely love it, Mister Hazama, thank you!”

 

Rui swung his phone around gleefully, his new gudetama charm swaying in the air.

 

Michio produced his own phone with a miniature rice bowl charm attached.

 

“I couldn’t help but think of you two when I saw these. I’m glad you seem to like it.”

 

Looking at the little green vegetable dangle on his phone, Jiro smiled.

 

“I do, I’ll treasure it.”

 

—

 

Michio stirred half asleep in his sheets. The birds chirping in the distance and thin beams of sunlight peaking through the curtains told him it was time to get up. Oh, but wasn’t it a day off? He curled up in the soft blankets, feeling snug, warm, and most of all, content. This moment was too precious, too rare. He wanted to make it last as long as he could.

 

When was the last time he felt like this?

 

The sudden realization woke him fully from his slumber. Michio opened his eyes to find Jiro sleeping on his side, blanket messed up from rolling around in his sleep. On the other side of Jiro he could see locks of short blonde hair sticking out, and he could hear murmurs of random English vocabulary.

 

His chest felt warm seeing the two sleeping so soundly. It almost made him feel foolish for worrying so much about them the nights before. Nothing had changed—but he knew he could trust them through any journey, no matter what others may say.

 

He sat up, analyzing his own epiphany.

 

Rui rustled, awoken by Michio’s sudden movements.

 

“Mmn… Mister Hazama? _Good morning…_ ”

 

“Oh, good morning Maita-kun. Sorry, did I wake you?”

 

Rui sat up himself, rubbing his eyes as he yawned.

 

“ _It’s OK,_ it’s about time we got up. We have to get used to waking up earlier from tomorrow, anyway.”

 

He suddenly shook Jiro by the shoulder violently.

 

“I gotta wake up even earlier to wake _this guy_ up in time!”

 

“Uwahwah--!!”

 

Jiro jolted awake, shocked by being pulled into reality so suddenly. Once he was conscious enough to realize who was the source of the tremor, he shooed his hand away.

 

“Oh, God, I thought there was an earthquake or something!”

 

“I sometimes wonder if an earthquake is even enough to wake you, Mister Yamashita. Remember when you slept through that fire alarm? _Terrifying!_ You’re lucky it was a false alarm.”

 

“Yeah yeah, it’s not like I can help being a sound sleeper. Ha~ahm… What time is it?”

 

Michio put on his glasses and looked at the digital display on the DVD player by the wall. 9:23… He’d normally have been awake hours ago, groggily doing whatever activity might distract him from his thoughts.

 

He placed a finger on his chin thoughtfully.

 

“Hazama-san? Is something wrong?”

 

Jiro inquired, cocking his head to the side.

 

Michio looked at the two of them, a little hesitant to share his idea.

 

“I have a… proposition, if you’ll hear me out.”

 

Jiro and Rui both blinked at him questioningly.

 

“The truth is… I’ve had trouble sleeping the past couple weeks.”

 

He bit his lip, unsure if he was willing to share exactly why.

 

“It might have to do with the complete silence of my apartment. I’m not sure, but it’s starting to interfere with my daily activities, as you might have noticed.”

 

Jiro nodded, face softening at the confession.

 

“However, I’ve been able to sleep soundly last night. This morning is the first in a long time I’ve felt refreshed. I… I think it might have something to do with your company.”

 

Michio pushed up his glasses and looked at Jiro.

 

“If you have trouble waking up, I think we could both benefit from me sleeping over at your place. I wake up early most mornings even without an alarm, and could make sure you wake up in time to prepare for work without having to have Rui wake up extra early to come over.”

 

It was a little embarrassing to request something so seemingly intimate even if they have slept over at his place many times before. His eye contact wavered from Jiro’s.

 

“If… if that’s okay with you, of course. Don’t feel you have to accept the idea, it’s simply a suggestion.”

 

Rui placed a finger on his chin, listening intently.

 

“It doesn’t really bother me coming early to wake up Mister Yamashita, but if it helps the both of you, I think that’s a _marvelous_ idea! I wouldn’t complain about an extra twenty minutes of sleep.”

 

Jiro scratched the back of his head.

 

“Yeah, I mean, that sounds more convenient. I’m already used to you guys sleeping over anyway, you already keep separate toothbrushes here. Just bring your change of clothes for the day when you come over for the night.”

 

Michio looked up, relieved that they both approved of the idea so readily. What was he so worried for? He beamed, happy to have solved a problem that’s plagued him for so long.

 

“Sounds like a deal.”

 

—

 

The three of them enjoyed breakfast together, omurice cooked by Jiro himself. Rui drew some squiggly cats on them with ketchup, shoulders sagging when the images didn’t look as good as he’d hoped.

 

“ _Ugly_ … What kind of idol can’t draw cute cats on omurice with ketchup?”

 

“Isn’t that just for girl idols?”

 

Jiro inquired, speaking with his chin in his hands. Rui shook his finger and winked.

 

“ _No, no!_ You’re behind the times, Mister Yamashita! These days, there’s catering to every kind of tastes!”

 

Michio pushed up his glasses.

 

“I see. Perhaps we should all be practicing drawing with ketchup to prepare for the future.”

 

“You can practice whatever you like, just do it at your own place, please. I just went grocery shopping, I don’t want to go back just to buy another bottle of ketchup.”

 

Jiro sighed, showing age the man hasn’t reached yet. Rui and Michio smiled at each other, entertained by their friend’s tendency to sound older than he is.

 

After their meal, they said their goodbyes.

 

“I’ll come by at 9 pm, since we have to get up early starting tomorrow.”

 

Michio affirmed as he left Jiro’s apartment.

 

“Sounds good to me. I’ll see you then.”

 

Jiro waved before closing the door.

 

—

 

“Hazama-sensei?”

 

Michio looked down from the coffee shop’s menu in surprise, wondering how the cashier knew his name. A familiar face stared back with surprise and joy, a girl in her college years.

 

“It’s me, Ayumi! Do you remember me?”

 

He blinked, surprised by how much his student has grown.

 

“Oh, of course. What a pleasant surprise, seeing you here.”

 

“Yeah! My break is in ten minutes, we should catch up!”

 

Michio soon found himself sitting in the café corner with the girl, chatting excitedly. It was nice to see her doing so well… She was always a diligent student, seeing things through to the end even if she was sometimes slow to start on them. She’d been studying economics in college, hoping to become a banker.

 

“It’s sometimes a little boring, but I’m passionate about it. Just like you are with your work, Hazama-sensei! I got your letter about working as an idol, it really inspired me.”

 

“I’m really glad. I’m sorry it was such a late reply.”

 

The girl flushed, waving her hand side to side.

 

“N-no, don’t worry about it! That valentine’s letter was just younger me being embarrassing. I appreciate you replying to it respectfully even though it was a little inappropriate. I’m past that now.”

 

Michio chuckled. Back in her high school days, Ayumi had handed him a valentine’s letter. Not realizing what kind of gesture it was at the time, he’d replied by asking where her late homework was. He only realized the amount of love and feelings one put into these letters later during a valentine’s day event as an idol, and wrote a reply, wishing her well and letting her know he was keeping her in mind and encouraging her through his work as an idol.

 

“I’m totally supporting you as an idol though! I was one of the first members of the S. E. M. fan club, you know! You’re looking really cool upstage lately!”

 

Michio went rigid.

 

“O-oh, do I?”

 

Ayumi looked back at him, confused.

 

“Yeah… Is something wrong?”

 

How mortifying, Michio thought. He let his former student catch him at a weak moment. The ex-math teacher rubbed the back of his neck, looking grim.

 

“To be frank with you, I’ve been having doubts about being an idol. I’m… afraid I’m making a fool of myself, and I’m too blind to realize it.”

 

He gritted his teeth.

 

“Really, what is a 32-year-old math teacher doing, dancing around on stage…?”

 

“Hazama-sensei…”

 

Ayumi gasped, not sure how to react to this sudden confession. Her face showed pity, which did little to ease Michio’s doubts. He coughed, straightened his tie, and forced a smile.

 

“I’m sorry, I must’ve made you uncomfortable. Forget what I just said, it was nothing. So, how is college—”

 

“You can’t tell me to forget something like that!”

 

Ayumi exclaimed, slamming the table with her hands. Michio started, taken aback.

 

“Sensei, your work as an idol means a lot to me. _You_ mean a lot to me. Every time I see you on stage, I'm driven to do better in everything I do. You were always passionate about inspiring young people, back when you were a teacher and still as an idol.”

 

She clenched her fists.

 

“Maybe some people think you’re embarrassing. So what? If even one person is inspired to do better, seeing you take your work seriously, haven’t you accomplished your goal?”

 

She smiled, looking at him in his eyes.

 

“And trust me, you’re definitely inspiring at least _one_ person with your job.”

 

Michio was speechless. It felt as if there had been a rope squeezing his body tightly, and the determination in her words loosened the grip. His eye was stinging with the threat of tears and he squeezed his fingers between his eyes to hide them.

 

He looked back up, eyes slightly red but his smile genuine.

 

“Thank you, Ayumi. That really helped put me at ease. I’m glad I got to talk to you.”

 

She beamed.

 

“No problem, it’s a step towards paying you back for all your kind words. Don’t beat yourself up like that, okay?”

 

She pulled out her pinkie.

 

“Promise me!”

 

Michio laughed, pulling out his own pinkie and linking it to hers.

 

“I promise.”

 

The two of them exchanged numbers before saying their farewells, promising to keep in touch. He headed back home with thoughts racing through his mind, reflecting on his anxious speculations.

 

Talking to Ayumi helped ease his mind about himself. His goals were being met, as long as someone was watching him, being inspired by him.

 

But what about his unit members? He couldn’t shake the thought of wasting their own potentials in other professions, not being able to follow their own dreams for the sake of his own.

 

Certainly, that wouldn’t be the case. The two of them were acting as idols because they themselves wanted to.

 

Weren’t they?

 

Michio shook his head, trying to erase his doubts. He needed to trust his unit members to let him know the truth. He couldn’t let his fears get the better of him, let it plague reality.

 

It was difficult.

 

He spent the rest of the day doing work-related activities, reviewing songs and studying their previous performances. His attention was half there, however, the other half looking back at the clock on the computer to see if it was 9 PM yet.

 

He wasn’t sure why he was so anxious to be at Jiro’s place, but for some reason, he felt it’d comfort him.

 

The clock struck 6:58, and he thought he would die of anticipation. He paced around, having already eaten dinner, washed the dishes, and vacuumed the already clean floor. Michio sighed and reached for his phone, scrolling through his contacts and tapping on Jiro’s.

 

_Would it be all right to come over earlier?_

 

Michio typed and retyped the text, finger hovering over the send button before finally tapping on it.

 

The reply came almost immediately.

 

_sure i dont mind. im not doing anything anyway. when did u want to come?_

 

He sighed in relief before texting back.

 

_Is now a little too early?_

 

He stared at the screen until Jiro replied again.

 

_np u can come now_

 

Immediately, he went for his closet, getting his clothes for the next day ready.

 

—

 

It surprised him how much it helped.

 

Once he came over, Jiro welcomed him with the usual casual demeanor. It put him at ease, making the event feel like just another day of them hanging out. The two of them watched TV for the rest of the night, a couple of beers in their hands. Jiro rolled out the futons once it struck 10, and the two said their goodnights.

 

Michio watched the slow rise and fall of Jiro’s chest with half-lidded eyes. He saw dust floating around, catching the moonlight cast on the two of them. Beyond the window just above, he heard soft chirps of crickets mixing with the rhythmic breathing of the figure before him.

 

Somehow, with more going on around him than usual, he felt tranquil. It beat the deafening silence of the nights alone in his own apartment.

 

Before he realized, he’d closed his eyes, not giving a second thought to his worries as he fell soundly asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would being together with Jiro mean this happiness would last?
> 
> His ears flushed as he realized just what exactly he was thinking. He covered his mouth with his hand, the heat from his cheeks warming his cold fingers. What was he getting all these ideas for? He couldn’t think like that towards his co-worker, not to mention precious friend.
> 
> Michio looked back at Jiro’s face, and suddenly the pounding of his own heart reached his ears. This was bad. His mind must’ve been getting the wrong idea after being looked after for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Robin as usual for helping me edit!!

Ah… it was too hot. His blanket was bundled up by his feet but something in the air still felt stuffy. Was he at his own apartment? Normally his body was met with the cold morning air by this time, encouraging Jiro to curl up in his warm sheets and never get up.

 

The sound of distant sizzling poked at Jiro’s half-conscious mind. Mm… Something smelled good. Eggs and bacon? That’d be nice about now. He licked his lips, a hot meal starting to form in his dream.

 

The sudden _ka-chunk_ of the toaster made him realize he wasn’t imagining things. There really _was_ something sizzling in his house. He sat up, slightly panicked at the idea something was on fire.

 

“Yamashita-kun? Are you awake?”

 

Michio poked his head out from the kitchen, Jiro’s orange apron tied around his neck. It was a little too big on him, the top half loosely hanging off his body. He adjusted his glasses with the back of his wrist, his hand occupied by a spatula.

 

“I woke up a little early and took the liberty of preparing breakfast for us, I hope you don’t mind. It’s almost done, if you’ll take a seat by the table.”

 

Then off he went, head disappearing back into the kitchen where the delicious smell originated. Jiro placed a hand on his stomach, trying to silence the loud growling with little success.

 

Soon he found himself eating eggs and bacon with toast, Michio sitting on the other side enjoying his own plate. He held up his cup of coffee, trying to remember the last time he had time to indulge in a proper breakfast. Normally he was in too much of a hurry to prepare anything, stuffing his face with a piece of untoasted bread if he ate anything at all. Not only having enough time to eat, but getting to warm himself up with a hot, delicious meal…

 

He chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee. Michio blinked at him, chewing on a piece of toast.

 

“Something funny?”

 

“No, it’s just… Nice, getting breakfast made for you. Thank you, Hazama-san. You didn’t have to, but I appreciate it.”

 

The ex-math teacher swallowed and started cutting up a piece of his egg.

 

“It’s no problem at all. I know I’m not as good of a cook as you, but I’m glad you’re enjoying the meal. I liked preparing the food, anyway, it keeps my mind off things.”

 

“Mind off what?”

 

Michio stopped. He looked up to find Jiro staring back at him, chin in hand. His eyes were so calming, curious but not piercing. _You don’t have to share if you don’t want to,_ they said.

 

He looked down at his plate, unable to hold his gaze.

 

“I… I feel anxious. At night. My mind constantly tells me I’m forcing you and Rui into something when you could be off doing better things, even if logic says otherwise. I can’t help but believe that you two are simply indulging in my ideas out of kindness.”

 

He smiled bitterly, feeling pathetic he couldn’t overcome his own emotions.

 

“I know you wouldn’t do something like that. I know I should trust you two to tell the truth. But… It’s difficult. Ignoring my fears.”

 

“Hazama-san…”

 

Michio peeked back up at Jiro’s face hesitantly.

 

“You’re too kind, worrying over us so much. But you can’t overdo it to the point of hurting yourself. That’s doing both you and us a disservice.”

 

He smiled. Immediately, Michio’s heart felt lightened, his chest as warm as the coffee in his hand.

 

“I know it might take some time to let yourself believe it though. Rui and I will just have to work hard until you do.”

 

Jiro poked his fork into Michio’s plate, taking away a strip of bacon.

 

“Consider this your payment for the extra effort you’re making us go through. Or penalty for being so harsh on yourself. Whatever you like.”

 

He waved the fork in the air before putting it in his mouth. Michio gave a snort, feeling embarrassed after sharing his deeper thoughts. They enjoyed the rest of their meal in comfortable silence, then prepared to meet Rui by the river for their morning run.

 

\--

 

And so hell began, yet again.

 

The idols were used to this routine by now, going for morning runs whenever they needed to prepare for a live. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the first time, their bodies starting to get accustomed to the physical activity, but they knew every time they let loose for a while meant the older members will be feeling it the next morning when their regimen started back up.

 

Jiro was the first KO’d, as usual. Exercise just wasn’t his thing. He sat by the fountain to catch his breath as Rui cockily ran past him. He wiped his mouth, drool threatening to overflow from breathing so hard.

 

“Mister Yamashita! _Hang in there!”_

 

Rui exclaimed, running backwards to cheer Jiro on while getting his own exercise.

 

“Watch where you’re going or you’ll run into someone!”

 

He shouted back and sighed. Michio soon caught up, slowing his jog and walking over to the fountain himself.

 

“Are you alright, Yamashita-kun?”

 

He offered a small water bottle to the other. Jiro accepted it graciously, and Michio watched his Adam’s apple bob as he gulped down the contents.

 

“Phew~! This old body just isn’t what it used to be.”

 

“You’re not that old yet. The average Japanese life expectancy is roughly 84 years, you still have a long way to go.”

 

Jiro laughed, his voice slightly hoarse from gasping in the air earlier. The water and sweat sparkled off his hair, catching the sunlight.

 

Michio smiled and extended his hand.

 

“Come on, we have another eight minutes.”

 

The three of them finished up, panting as they jogged to the office. The Producer greeted them, rewarding their hard work with energy drinks. Their relief was short, however, as right away they were lead to more dance lessons to prepare for the upcoming event.

 

The day went by quickly, 315 Productions doing their best to plan for the live. Soon the ex-teachers were saying goobyes to their coworkers, thanking them for their hard work.

 

Jiro turned to Michio and smiled tenderly.

 

“Want to come over early again?”

 

Michio flushed, but nodded in agreement. The two of them made their way to Michio’s apartment to fetch his change of clothes, then returned to Jiro’s to get ready for the night.

 

Upon returning to Jiro’s place, the futons were rolled out immediately, their bodies exhausted from the day’s work. Michio placed his glasses on the entertainment center and laid down, sighing contently as his tired body hit the soft sheets. Jiro soon followed after turning off the lights.

 

“Feeling tired?”

 

Michio turned his head and blinked sleepily.

 

“Mn… Yes, very.”

 

“Good. Let me know if you need anything. Don’t hesitate to wake me up if something bothers you in middle of the night. I probably get too much sleep as it is, anyway.”

 

Jiro grinned shyly.

 

“And your health is important to me too. We’re a unit, you know? Gotta support each other when one’s in need or we’ll fall apart. I just wanted you t--”

 

He yawned, interrupting himself.

 

“Sorry, getting tired. But I just wanted you to know that. Good night.”

 

Jiro stretched a little before letting fatigue take over. Michio turned back, peering up at the ceiling. He wondered how long he’d have to be in Jiro’s debt for the night until he would be able to sleep normally again. The arrangement worked out for the both of them for now, but eventually the day of the live would come and it won’t be a mutually beneficial plan any longer.

 

He turned again to gaze at Jiro’s sleeping face. Certainly, he would be kind enough to allow him to continue sleeping over, even if there necessarily wasn’t a gain on his part. But when the cause of his fears was rooted in the other’s sympathy for him, he wasn’t sure if he could allow himself to take advantage of that good will.

 

Suddenly, the ticking of the clock on the wall was overbearing.

 

His body felt tired, but the sleep wouldn’t come.

 

\--

 

The overly familiar beeping of his alarm notified it was time to wake up. Jiro groaned, desperately trying to hold onto his dream while waving his arm around to find the snooze button. Once he found his phone, he tapped the bottom area he remembered was the magic spot, and sighed in relief.

 

Hold on, something was off.

 

He fought the drowsiness in his eyes and opened them to find Michio wasn’t there. Was he making breakfast again? But he didn’t hear or smell anything.

 

Jiro fought his aching muscles to sit up. The sight gave him a start, like a jolt of electricity.

 

Lying on the floor, in the corner of the room, was Michio, curled up in a ball and sleeping.

 

“Hazama-san?! What’s wrong, are you okay?!”

 

Jiro stumbled to his side hurriedly, shaking the man awake. Michio stirred, slowly gaining consciousness.

 

“Mnn…Oh, Yamashita-kun…”

 

“Thank god, you’re awake. Are you hurt anywhere? Did you slip on something?”

 

“N-no, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

 

Michio couldn’t see Jiro very well without his glasses, but he could feel the puzzled look on his face. He looked down in shame, knowing there’s no escape explaining the situation. How was he supposed to tell him that he couldn’t sleep because he felt undeserving of the comfort of the futon?

 

“Your body’s so cold.”

 

Two arms wrapped around Michio’s shoulders, clutching him tightly. Jiro’s warm body pressed against his, radiating heat throughout his frigid bones. His eyelids fluttered open in surprise; he expected to be scolded, or pitied.

 

Not this.

 

He stilled for a few seconds in shock, his throat choking on excuses he realized he didn’t need. Michio let out a shaky breath before snaking his own arms around Jiro and rested his head against his shoulder. It felt so nice… his anxiety felt like they were literally melting off his body, just from feeling the other’s frame tightly around him. Like he was wandering aimlessly in space that he was barely aware of, and Jiro pulled him back to Earth. Michio squeezed, not wanting to let go.

 

They stayed like this for a minute. Jiro began rubbing Michio’s back soothingly.

 

“We should get ready for work.”

 

He knew it was true. He couldn’t be stubborn. But when Jiro left his embrace, he found himself missing the contact already. Michio blinked hard and swallowed, bracing himself for the real world he knew he had to return to.

 

A hand reached out to him.

 

“Come on, let’s get ready.”

 

Jiro smiled at him. Michio nodded and took his hand. When he was pulled up, he felt his bones creak in protest.

 

The two of them walked towards the office, silence accompanying them. Michio shifted uncomfortably, unsure if he should say something.

 

“Thank you… for looking after me.”

 

He muttered, looking away. He was met with a soft snicker.

 

“I’m just returning the favour. It’s the least I could do.”

 

 Michio blinked, and glanced back at Jiro.

 

“What favour?”

 

Jiro scratched the back of his head bashfully.

 

“Eheh, you know. Ever since we’ve met, you worried over me. Do you remember?”

 

The ex-math teacher couldn’t help but smirk at the memory. Back in college, he’d been studying for an upcoming exam in the library along with a few other students in his class, one of whom included Jiro. He watched in horror as the man poured an energy drink into his coffee and downed the whole thing.

 

“I remember. The first words I heard coming out of your mouth was, ‘I’m ready to die.’”

 

“Right. After that you got so worried over me that you were constantly hovering around me. You were like my second mother.”

 

Jiro adjusted his imaginary glasses, his eyebrows furrowing into a familiar shape.

 

“’Yamashita-kun, have you started on your lab report? Don’t procrastinate and keep yourself up with caffeine again.’”

 

“Was that supposed to sound like me?”

 

They laughed. The tension around them was gone. No longer were they expecting the other to address what’s happened a few minutes earlier. They were just old friends, reflecting on the past.

 

“I couldn’t escape you even after we graduated. I still can’t believe you calculated my life expectancy based on my caffeine intake.”

 

“I still can’t believe you started boiling coffee with the school lab equipment so I wouldn’t lecture you for drinking too much coffee off the staff coffee machine.”

 

“Your tough love was too much for me to handle. I needed a break. That coffee was real good though, wasn’t it?”

 

Michio shook his head in exasperation, but he couldn’t hide his smile.

 

“Oh, here already? That was fast.”

 

He looked up, and indeed the office was right there. It was a shame, he wanted to talk with his old friend a little longer. But work was work…

 

Jiro’s hand stopped him by the shoulders as he started opening the door.

 

“We’re all grown up now, you don’t need to worry over us so much. Our mistakes and responsibilities are ours alone, not yours.”

 

He gave him a pat on his back.

 

“Try to remember that, okay?”

 

Michio shut his eyes, engraving his friend’s words into his mind. He opened them again, focusing his gaze back at Jiro’s eyes to strengthen their promise.

 

“I will.”

 

\--

 

“You two are starting to look like an old couple. _It’s strange.”_

Jiro sputtered, coughing up his drink. Michio stilled, the pot he was holding overflowing the cup with tea and getting it all over the desk. Rui blinked, surprised that his off-handed comment caused such a reaction.

 

“Aah! I’ll go get a towel!”

 

Ken shouted before running off. Jiro wiped his mouth with his sleeve and cleared his throat.

 

“Don’t surprise us like that. You seriously caught me off guard.”

 

“But it’s true! Lately you keep telling each other _jokes,_ and talk about stuff I didn’t know about.”

 

Rui pouted.

 

“It’s only been a week! All of a sudden, you’re so much closer. Maybe I should _sleep over_ too!”

 

“It’s okay to sleep over time to time but it’s too much to squish three people every night! Plus, you know this just because of our sleeping problems, don’t get all jealous.”

 

Jiro scolded, but Michio was half-listening. It really did seem like they’ve gotten closer over the week, naturally as a result of spending more time together. They spent the nights at Jiro’s of course. He didn’t sleep on the cold floor again; that was a one time urge that dissipated once his friend reassured him. Michio would also cook them breakfast, and they shared their meal and light conversation. Work depended on what was scheduled, but they normally did something as a unit. Lunch and dinner was often shared with the members, to watch their calories before the live…and the night was spent, again, together, out of convenience for both and for calming affect for Michio.

 

They practically spent all their time together. Even couples didn’t stick around _this_ much.

 

But… It also might have been one of his happier weeks in a long time. Michio couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

 

Would being together with Jiro mean this happiness would last?

 

His ears flushed as he realized just what exactly he was thinking. He covered his mouth with his hand, the heat from his cheeks warming his cold fingers. What was he getting all these ideas for? He couldn’t think like that towards his co-worker, not to mention precious friend.

 

Michio looked back at Jiro’s face, and suddenly the pounding of his own heart reached his ears. This was bad. His mind must’ve been getting the wrong idea after being looked after for so long.

 

Once they start living apart again, these feelings will die down. Yes, he was sure of it.

 

Suddenly, the day of the live couldn’t come any faster.

 

\--

 

The next two weeks were agonizing.

 

Whenever Jiro danced a particularly physical move, his eyes stole glances at the briefly exposed skin. Every slight contact with him sent jolts throughout Michio’s body, reminding him of that intimate hug they shared. He still missed that warmth dearly, but of course he couldn’t ask to be embraced again.

 

He wasn’t sure if he could ever let go, at this point.

 

It became so overwhelming that Michio ended up making excuses to spend some time apart after work. They still spent the night together, however, because as guilty as he felt for his emotions, being near Jiro’s presence was just so soothing to his mind. Seeing his content expression as he slept reassured him that he was working as an idol for himself, and he was enjoying his life.

 

He was enjoying it because Michio was there with him.

 

He could finally believe it. Or rather, he wanted to believe it.

 

He sighed, frustrated at his own desires.

 

“Can’t sleep?”

 

Michio started, not realizing Jiro had woken up. His head was propped up on his elbow, watching him back on his side.

 

“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

 

Michio apologized. He hoped he’d only woken up because of his sigh, not because he’d noticed him staring at his sleeping figure. Jiro shook his head.

 

“Not really. I was half asleep but couldn’t really get into it. Too nervous about the live tomorrow.”

 

“Ah…”

 

As excruciating the past weeks were, he had to admit now that it was coming to an end… he was going to miss this. Jiro would still be here, of course. But for some reason, it felt like something wouldn’t be the same once they started living apart again.

 

He desperately wanted it to stay the same.

 

“Don’t worry, we’ll nail it for sure. We’ve practiced hard and worked hard… Everyone’s backing us up too.”

 

Jiro assured, oblivious to the real reason behind Michio’s worried look.

 

“You’re right. Thank you, Yamashita-kun. Goodnight.”

 

Michio faked a smile, hoping to put his friend at ease.

 

The next day, the three of them stood side by side backstage. The choir of fans on the other side of the curtain echoed around them, the song before them nearing its end.

 

This was finally it, Michio thought. He shut his eyes tightly. It felt like he let something precious escape. But he knew that was just wishful thinking, asking for the impossible. He needed to let the dreamy moments go, let himself get rooted back into reality.

 

Jiro entwined his fingers between Michio’s and smiled reassuringly. The soft touch and the warmth radiating from his hand soothed his nerves.

 

He knows it’s just a gesture of friendship, only intimate out of kindness.

 

The skip in his heart rang much too loudly in his ears anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was there someone else who could fit in Jiro’s shoes? No, there wasn’t.
> 
> Could Jiro do something that would stop him from caring for him? Honestly, he doubted it.
> 
> Michio shut his eyes. Then that meant…
> 
> “I love this person.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NYOOMS A CHAPTER BEFORE I GET TAKEN AWAY BY SCHOOL
> 
> Thank you Robin for beta reading as always!!

“You’re sure you don’t want to keep sleeping over?”

 

Jiro offered. Michio felt his chest tighten, but he internally gritted his teeth and smiled.

 

“Yes, I think I’m alright now. Thank you very much for helping me feel better.”

 

The ex-chemistry teacher crossed his arms, doubt painted all over his face.

 

“You’ll let me know if you find you’re not alright, though. Right?”

 

A sharp pain struck his chest, knowing it wasn’t true. It was already agonizing lying to his friend the first time… he was making this so much more difficult.

 

He shut his eyes and nodded, hoping it was enough to satisfy the other’s skepticism.

 

“Of course. You’re one of my closest friends in the world, Yamashita-kun. I trust you.”

 

He could only manage this half-lie, which at least seemed to please Jiro enough to let go of the topic. They said their farewells, thanking each other for their hard work during the live, and went their separate ways. Once Michio reached his home, he immediately hit his futon without changing out of his clothes, both physically and emotionally exhausted.

 

But the sleep wouldn’t come.

 

He flopped onto his back and stared at the ceiling, feeling hopeless at figuring out his desires. To be honest, he was never very good at understanding the emotional side of things. People often got the impression that he did not feel emotion at all.

 

It couldn’t be any less truthful. He felt emotion, just as any other human did. He was just clumsy at dealing with them.

 

His phone dinged, interrupting his thoughts. Michio reached out to his bedside table, wondering who could be messaging him at this hour.

 

It was Ayumi, with a photo of herself and some friends excitedly holding pink glowsticks.

 

_You were great up there! Thank you so much for a lovely performance! >w< <3_

He smiled, heart melting at the text. He immediately typed up a reply.

 

_Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed the show. I hope you’re doing well. :-)_

Was the emoticon too much? It was so hard keeping up with online trends these days. He hit send anyway.

 

A minute later, his phone dinged again.

 

_I am!! I hope you are too, we should catch up again! When are you free?_ ヽ( owo)ノ

Michio stared at the text, thinking to himself. Maybe it’d be good for him to learn a thing or two about romantic feelings, from someone he knows is familiar with them.

 

He began typing up his reply, checking back on his schedule.

 

\--

 

“You… you want to know what a crush feels like?”

 

Ayumi repeated, unsure if she heard right. Michio nodded, confirming her fears. She smiled nervously, trying her best to pick her words right.

 

“Why…why do you want to know that?”

 

Michi adjusted his glasses, sounding as clinical as possible about something that was so close to his heart.

 

“Perhaps… I have been afflicted to its symptoms. I was hoping to get your advice.”

 

The girl gasped and looked around them to make sure no one was listening.

 

“Sensei, you don’t mean… you think you have a crush on someone?!”

 

She whispered, leaning in to make sure her words were not heard by outsider ears. He simply nodded again, and her eyes widened in shock.

 

“This is huge! Sensei, you’re an idol now! You can’t be off having relationships willy-nilly, you better be super serious about this or it might jeopardize your career!”

 

The idol blinked. He hadn’t considered that at all. Well, he already knew it was bad, having feelings for your co-worker, a friend, and someone of the same sex…

 

Wow, the list went on about how bad of an idea this was. He’d only just realized.

 

She sighed, getting from her old teacher’s expression that he was, in fact, just considering the possibility. Ayumi gulped down her coffee; she should have realized that someone who asked for her homework after getting a love letter would also be someone who didn’t know the first thing about relationships.

 

“Why do you think you like this person? Is she pretty?”

 

Michio considered. Was Yamashita-kun pretty?

 

“Yes, I suppose so. When… ‘she’ cleans up a bit.”

 

Ayumi was exasperated.

 

“Alright, well, I guess you probably like her for more than her looks, then. Is she close to you?”

 

Michio reflected for a second on how to answer the question.

 

“Yes, she is. She’s one of the closest people I have. I’m just… confused… if my feelings for her are simply platonic, or if they are indeed romantic.”

 

The girl was surprised. She never expected her old teacher to be someone who could be this emotionally invested in someone. Perhaps she’d had the wrong impression of him for a while now.

 

She smiled.

 

“Sensei, if you’re this concerned over her, it sounds like you’re pretty serious about it.”

 

He contemplated her words, but wasn’t convinced. Michio shook his head, before taking a sip of his own cup of coffee.

 

“I’m not so certain. Tell me, how did you feel for me back when you gave me that letter?”

 

Ayumi groaned, her face flushing at the memory.

 

“I knew you’d bring that up again! Ugh, whatever. How did I feel back then? Let’s see…”

 

She rubbed her temples. This was _not_ how she was expecting today to end up.

 

“I guess… sorry for putting it this way, but I guess I idolized you? You were good-looking, sure. I also got obsessed with the fact you seemed so serious, but you also did all that weird stuff for your students, like putting on a puppet show about math. I really like gap moe… Oh, sorry, you probably don’t know that term…”

 

“No, I do. I learned it from some of the other idols.”

 

Michio assured, proud that he knew popular terminology for once. Ayumi blanked.

 

“Oh… Well, OK, that makes things easier to explain. Anyway, the important thing is, my feelings for you were categories I ticked off that I could have found anywhere else. It was… it sucks to say this myself, shallow. I didn’t really know anything about you beyond what I described, sensei. If it turned out there was something about you that didn’t fit your image in my mind, my infatuations would have evaporated pretty easily.”

 

She looked him in his eyes, laying her next words carefully.

 

“Does what I say make sense to you? Do you think it describes what you feel for this person?”

 

He pondered, examining his feelings for Jiro. Did he have specific attributes that was particularly attractive to Michio? He was very handsome, once he cleaned up. Jiro was like a gem in need of a polish, shining bright once he was brought to light. It made him much more infatuated with him, as if his beauty was a secret only the few deserving got to see.

 

He was also caring… very much so. He always knew what to say, with wisdom behind his words that made you question his age. And he knew Michio especially well, after having spent so many years together.

 

He was also very smart… while at the same time, being stupid. You could trust him to help out anyone, but once it came to himself, he was poor at managing things. It encouraged Michio to be better, to match up to him while at the same time be there for him so he did not break down.

 

Was there someone else who could fit in Jiro’s shoes? No, there wasn’t.

 

Could Jiro do something that would stop him from caring for him? Honestly, he doubted it.

 

Michio shut his eyes. Then that meant…

 

“I love this person.”

 

He whispered, ache behind his voice. The math was right. The calculations have been checked over.

 

He didn’t like the answer.

 

“Sensei…”

 

Ayumi consoled, hand covering her mouth. Michio sighed, pain stuttering his breath.

 

“What do I do, Ayumi? I don’t want to lose this person. I want to be with hi—her, but I’m so afraid to take that step. I don’t think there’s much hope for me.”

 

The girl shook her head.

 

“Sensei, you’re a wonderful person. You’re full of love and care, and whoever is lucky enough to be receiving that love should appreciate it. If she refuses you, unable to realize what she has, she doesn’t deserve it.”

 

She pumped her fists, determined look on her face.

 

“You have to be brave, sensei! If you don’t, you’ll never get to know for sure, and you’ll live with this pain forever. You can do this! I’m cheering for you!”

 

Michio smiled.

 

“Thank you… thank you so much, for everything, Ayumi. You have no idea how much I appreciate everything. I’m so glad you were my student.”

 

Ayumi nodded, a grin spreading on her face.

 

“Not at all! Next time we meet, I better hear you confessed! Or I’m gonna have you buy me steak dinner!”

 

\--

 

Easier said than done.

 

Michio had no idea how to go about confessing. He initially googled, “How to confess,” only to get useless search results about going to church for your sins. Even once he specified, “How to confess your LOVE,” it’d give him either vague advice, or situations that didn’t really apply to him.

 

Weren’t there any algorithms for this sort of thing?

 

Michio sighed, hearing the birds chirp outside his window, indicating the morning’s arrival. Another sleepless night. He closed his laptop, dragging himself out of his futon to prepare for the day. He ate his breakfast, brushed his teeth, changed into his work clothes…

 

Before he knew it, he was sitting in the 315 office, his attention drifting in and out of reality.

 

“Hazama-san!”

 

Michio straightened, awakened by the call of his name. He looked to his side where the voice came from, to find Jiro standing there, looking unimpressed.

 

“You doing alright? Anything you want to tell me?”

 

He coaxed. Michio smiled innocently.

 

“Yes, I’m doing alright. Thank you for checking up on me.”

 

He should say it. He should just come clean.

 

“Um… actually, Yamashita-kun?”

 

Jiro raised his brow.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I… Ahem, I…”

 

Michio sighed.

 

“Sorry for making you worry. I’ll be fine.”

 

Jiro shook his head, disappointment painted on his features.

 

“Hazama-san, I tried to be patient but I can’t just sit idly by while you destroy yourself. Didn’t sleeping over at my place help you out? Why won’t you come over? To be honest, I feel like you’ve been avoiding me lately…”

 

He sat next to him, his eyes filled with worry. Too close, Michio panicked. He could feel the other’s body warmth next to his thigh.

 

“Did I do something to offend you? Please, tell me why you’re acting like this.”

 

_I wish I could,_ Michio thought. _I desperate wish I could._

 

“You’ve done nothing wrong. I… I just…”

 

He looked down at his shoes, unable to keep eye contact. His heart thumped loudly, fondness and terror both adding to the volume.

 

“I need… some time. To compose my thoughts. It’s not a simple matter for me to address. Please understand.”

 

Michio clenched his fists. He was a coward. His friend was giving him all the chances in the world, and he was still running away.

 

He felt a hand on his knee. Michio could feel his heart jump, barely able to compose himself.

 

“If you say so, I won’t push the subject. But you’re sure you can’t at least sleep over? It helps me too, you know. I’m still bad at getting up, even if it isn’t so early in the morning, and I enjoy having breakfast made by you.”

 

Jiro cleared his throat before continuing, slightly embarrassed.

 

“And… and I really enjoy your company. I had fun, you know. Spending more time with you. I really don’t mind doing that again.”

 

_Don’t say that,_ Michio thought. _You’re getting my hopes up for the hopeless. Please don’t say something like that._

He shut his eyes, his resolve breaking down before Jiro’s care for him.

 

“Alright… I’ll sleep over.”

 

He mumbled. He knew he was weak when it came to Jiro. Might as well, then. Perhaps the added time alone with him will encourage him to go through with the deal.

 

After work, the two men walked back to Jiro’s place. The air was slightly tense this time, neither able to break the awkward silence. Once they reached the door, as Jiro fumbled for his keys, Michio shuffled restlessly. He shouldn’t be here, he thought. It felt like he was invading, like his secret turned him into an intruder.

 

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all…”

 

He admitted, to which Jiro grunted.

 

“Don’t tell me you’re backing off now. If you try running I swear I’ll tie you down.”

 

Michio flushed at the thought, playful words turning dirty in his mind. The door finally unlocked and Jiro gripped the other’s hand, half-forcing him in the apartment.

 

“You haven’t eaten yet, right? Is pasta okay for dinner?”

 

Jiro asked, taking off his shoes. Michio took in the familiar scene, memories flooding back to his head.

 

“Yes.. that sounds good.”

 

He answered, already feeling overly warm. It was like the place knew his troubles, his flaws, and accepted them anyway… just as his friend did. Michio took off his shoes and stepped into the place, feeling more comfortable than in his own home.

 

Jiro took their coats and hung them in the closet.

 

“Make yourself comfortable, I’ll be done in a few. You’re tired right? You can nap for a bit if you want, I’ll wake you when dinner’s ready.”

 

He advised, before disappearing in the kitchen. Michio walked into the living space proper, examining the area. He didn’t want to make Jiro unroll and roll up the futon several times because of him. He looked around, finding his cushion, and sat in front of the TV before turning it on. A newscaster began jabbering about some topic he cared little about, and he brought his knees close to his chest as he half-watched. It was so cozy… he could actually relax. Soon he found himself dozing, unable to keep himself awake.

 

The distant chatter of the TV entered his consciousness again. How long has it been? He wasn’t sure, but it must’ve been enough for Jiro to be nearly done his food, because he could smell their meal. Was something moving in his hair? He slowly opened his eyes, wondering what parts were dreamt up and what parts were real. Jiro was kneeled in front of him, his eyes widened in surprise.

 

“Oh, are you awake, Hazama-san? Haha, perfect timing! I just finished up, let’s eat.”

 

He blurted, patting him on the shoulder. Was he speaking faster than usual? Or was he just imagining things? Michio wasn’t sure.

 

The two men rolled out the futon after finishing up their meal. They laid down in the familiar positions, comfortable in each other’s company. Michio could feel fatigue drifting in quickly, falling into sleep almost immediately after hitting the sheets.

 

He dreamt he was hugging Jiro, more intimately than they had before. Their embrace wasn’t out of pity, or to heal; it was out of longing, for each other’s presence. It was warm, tender, and most of all, loving.

 

“Yamashita-kun…”

 

He hummed, happy and satisfied. Oh how wonderful it would be if this were reality; if this moment would last forever.

 

\--

 

Jiro sat up, doubting his ears. Did Michio just say his name?

 

He looked down at the man to find him sleeping soundly. Was he sleep talking?

 

Was he dreaming about him?

 

He laughed bitterly, hand covering his face. How far was his mind willing to go, with all this wishful thinking? He’d already taken advantage of his friend’s disposition, just to have him near him. Now he was going to try and believe his feelings were mutual?

 

There was a limit to his fantasies. He sickened himself.

 

Jiro lay back down, trying to sleep his thoughts away. The chirps of the crickets outside wouldn’t let his nerves die down.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two made their way back, the road now lit with streetlights rather than sunlight. Just the two of us again, Michio thought. When will this nightmare end? He wished things could go back the way it was, when things were simpler. When they were just old friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i left yall on a cliffhanger last time so i wrote this up instead of doing my hw blease appreciate
> 
> thank you Robin for beta-reading!

Michio rose from his sheets with the alarm of his phone, rubbing his eyes as he searched for his glasses. He put them on to find Jiro by his side, back turned against him.

 

“Yamashita-kun, it’s time to wake up. We need to get ready for work.”

 

He called, shaking the other awake. The man groaned, having not nearly enough sleep for the day.

 

“Screw work, screw everything.”

 

Jiro said, shooing the hand away.

 

Michio blinked in surprise. Certainly, Jiro was rarely a morning person, but he wasn’t _this_ grumpy. He stood up, deciding he should make breakfast instead, hoping it’d lighten his mood. He walked into the kitchen, looking through the ingredients and decided on French toast.

 

The toaster once again alarmed Jiro enough to wake him. He grumbled as he got up and rolled up the futons. He knew he was going to doze off all day, barely having slept the night before. He could already feel his body moving on auto-pilot, his mind too occupied by the thought of Michio mumbling his name in his sleep. Was it real? Was anything real? Did anything even matter?

 

“Yamashita-kun!”

 

Jiro jolted awake, realizing he’d been cutting at his plate instead of his French toast. Michio furrowed his brows, a familiar sight to Jiro. He knew it meant he was about to get lectured.

 

“You’re drowsier this morning than usual. Are you alright?”

 

“Could ask you the same thing.”

 

Jiro grinned, changing the subject. Michio huffed, unhappy but unable to retort. He narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out the other. What was going on? Was something bothering him? Did it have something to do with Michio sleeping over?

 

For some reason, things were different today. Even though he could see Jiro right there, in front of him in the same room, he never felt farther apart from him and he had no idea why.

 

Why won’t he talk to him?

 

He sighed. How frustrating. But he couldn’t say much, considering he was probably putting Jiro through something similar. Michio simply cut up another piece of his toast, chewing in the most passive-aggressive manner he could manage. Jiro returned the favour, sipping his coffee loudly to indicate his dissatisfaction.

 

The two walked through the brisk morning air in angry silence. Michio didn’t recall the way to the office being this agonizingly long last time. He wanted to get to work quickly, bury himself in his work, wanted anything to distract him from the situation he managed to put himself in.

 

Unfortunately, the tense air did not dissipate once they arrived. The entire production could feel it; the normally amicable teacher group having a genuine disagreement? It was unheard of. Neither would look at each other in the eye, or speak directly at another. If something needed to be passed, they’d ask Rui to do the job, making the blonde confused and uncomfortable.

 

“Don’t fight, you two! _Make love, not war!”_

“We’re not fighting.”

 

Both chorused, and stilled. Jiro grunted, rubbing the back of his head. Michio cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses.

 

The rest of the idols were mesmerized at the rare sight. Shiki whispered to Hayato, both afraid and excited by this development.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

“I dunno, they were like this since this morning. They haven’t said a thing to each other.”

 

Hayato whispered back, mostly just afraid. He hoped things wouldn’t escalate, or he worried he’d start crying.

 

“Come on, you two! Don’t be angry! _Happy smile_!”

 

Pierre interjected. The two men looked at the boy in surprise, then simply looked away guiltily. The blonde wasn’t discouraged. He put his hands on his hips and made his voice as authoritative as possible.

 

“It’s no good to fight with friends. Let’s compliment each other! Say what you like about the other! You first, Jiro!”

 

“Eh, me?”

 

Jiro pointed at himself, displeased that he was chosen first. He couldn’t complain to Pierre’s disgruntled face, however, and scratched at his neck.

 

“Um… I like Hazama-san’s diligence. He works harder than anyone I know.”

 

“Good! Next is your turn, Michio! What do you like about Jiro?”

 

Pierre clapped his hands together in joy. Michio started, not liking where this was going.

 

“I suppose… I like Yamashita-kun’s caring disposition, even if he tries to show a different demeanor.”

 

Jiro snorted.

 

“Well, I guess I like that about Hazama-san too. Even if he tends to go overboard.”

 

Michio turned around, annoyance in his eyes.

 

“Nothing is overboard when it comes to someone who regularly ruins their own health.”

 

“I’m a grown adult and you aren’t my mother, I can do whatever I damn please!”

 

Jiro spat, his voice getting louder.

 

“You say you’re a grown adult but you don’t act like it sometimes!”

 

Michio shouted back.

 

“Enough!”

 

Pierre yelled, stopping the both of them. He sighed in exasperation.

 

“You’re both acting like babies! You don’t say those kinds of things to friends! I try to help, but both of you are too angry. You work okay now, but I hope you know you’re hurting everyone by acting like this.”

 

The boy huffed, and the two murmured an apology. The rest of the day went by, SEM still in disarray and no one able to come up with a solution. 315 Production watched in confusion as the two teachers left the office together, despite seemingly resentful of each other. Kanon shook his head and sighed soon as they disappeared behind the door.

 

“I’ll never understand adults.”

 

The two made their way back, the road now lit with streetlights rather than sunlight. Just the two of us again, Michio thought. When will this nightmare end? He wished things could go back the way it was, when things were simpler. When they were just old friends.

 

Jiro stopped in his tracks, looked up and gave a loud sigh. Michio looked back, slightly fearful of what could be wrong this time.

 

“This is childish. We’re grown men.”

 

Jiro laughed, embarrassed at himself. Michio could do nothing but nod in return, wondering where this was going.

 

“Let’s grab dinner. Drink and forget. I don’t think either of us are going to budge and we’re just going to have to accept it. We’re better than this, Hazama-san.”

 

Jiro took his hand out of his pocket, offering it to the other.

 

“I’m sorry. I just need some time to collect my thoughts as well. Will you forgive me?”

 

Michio was silent, his face softening at the suggestion. He took out his own hand and held Jiro’s, ignoring the increase of his heart’s palpitation at the contact.

 

“Yes, of course. I’m sorry as well. Let’s go eat. The usual place?”

 

They made their way to their favourite ramen shop, ordering warm food and drinks to fill their empty stomachs. Before the food arrived, however, Jiro immediately starting downing his sake, gulping it down like a man stranded in a desert.

 

“Watch your alcohol, Yamashita-kun.”

 

Jiro wiped his mouth before refilling his cup.

 

“It’s fine, it’s fine. We have tomorrow off, anyway.”

 

He downed it again and reached for the bottle. His hand was stopped when Michio took it instead, filling his cup and downing it himself. He smirked at the man, slamming his cup down and adjusting his glasses.

 

“You can’t drink it all if I drink it first.”

 

The two shared a look, competitive air rising between them.

 

“One bowl of Shoyu and one bowl of Miso?”

 

Michiru walked in with their order, his cheerful nature not matching up with the atmosphere. Jiro spoke without breaking their gaze.

 

“Thank you. Another bottle of sake as well, please.”

 

\--

 

“Um… sirs? We have to close up for the night.”

 

The manager spoke softly, worried he’d anger the two men who spent all night drinking an obscene amount of sake. The two groaned, peeling their upper bodies off the table, barely able to recognize where they were.

 

“I… I apologize. We’ll pay for our food and leave.”

 

Michio answered, holding his head in his hand. There goes his last paycheck, he supposed. At least Jiro seemed to regret their “race” as much as he did, eyes dazed and confused. There was a spot of red on his cheek, where he lay face down on the table. Michio chuckled, although he knew he was sporting a similar mark of his own.

 

They stumbled out of the restaurant, slowly making their way back to Jiro’s. The night was calm, noiseless save for some crickets chirping around them. The elevator dinged to indicate they arrived at their desired floor, and the idols dragged themselves towards the door. Jiro fumbled for his keys, clicking his tongue in annoyance when it took him longer than normal to find them.

 

With a “clink,” his keys fell on the floor. They both reached out to grab it, hands accidentally touching in the process. Their shoulders jumped, quickly taking their hands back. The two looked up at each other’s faces, both flushed from their feelings but assumed to be from the alcohol. Michio straightened and cleared his throat, and Jiro took his keys and straightened as well. They stood for a minute in silence.

 

“I have something to tell you.”

 

They both said, chorusing a second time. They were silent again, this time in surprise and expectation.

 

“You first.”

 

Michio broke first, trying to be amicable. Well, that and he was willing to take any excuse to keep from admitting the truth. Unfortunately, Jiro shook his head at the comment.

 

“No, you first.”

 

They both clammed up again. This was driving Michio crazy. He was so tired of running away from his feelings, from his friend. He was tired of making him worry.

 

He should just confess and put an end to all this.

 

He shifted his weight from one foot to another, trying to think of how to make this easier on himself. He opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated. How was he supposed to say it? Was it better to keep it simple? Should he just go ahead and say—

 

“I love you.”

 

Nice, quick, and to the point. Maybe he’d want to sound more confident, but there was so much he could do. Michio continued to reflect before he realized he didn’t think those words, but they were being said _to_ him. He stilled, wondering if the alcohol was getting to his head, and desperately hoped it wasn’t. He looked up, finding Jiro looking to the side, face more flushed than he remembered.

 

“…Pardon?”

 

Michio whispered, hope lighting behind his voice. Jiro’s hands were on his side, knuckles white from clutching at his keys as if his life depended on them. He shut his eyes tightly, regret and fear painted on his features.

 

“I said I love you. That’s what’s been eating at me. Please don’t make me say it again.”

 

Jiro gritted his teeth, bracing himself for the rejection. There was nothing for a while; it made sense, it was a lot to drop on someone who thought you were one of his best friends. He heard a step taken in front of him, and he readied himself for a punch or a kick, whatever would help the other feel better.

 

Instead, he felt soft lips against his own, hands pulling him down from behind his head to make up for the height. His brain failed to register what was happening, his view obscured by locks of Michio’s bangs.

 

Was he being kissed?

 

He managed to pull out his nervous hands and wrapped them around the other’s waist. Michio leaned into the embrace, hungry for the contact he yearned for so long. Everything was still around them, their minds focused on nothing but each other’s warmth. Michio pulled away slightly to breathe, looking up at Jiro under his lashes. Jiro’s heart skipped at the sight.

 

“We should… we should go inside…”

 

Michio stammered, not wanting to let go but knowing better.

 

“Or someone might see.”

 

Jiro nodded eagerly, taking his keys from his shaky grip. He finally managed to unlock the door, and never were they more fervent to enter the apartment. Soon as the door shut behind them they were locking their lips together again, this time more greedy, more impassioned. They could hear nothing but the smacking of their lips and the occasional gasp.

 

Michio was frightened. How fast he came apart in Jiro’s grip was terrifying. But he couldn’t do anything but grasp for more, his fingers dragging lines along the back of the other’s head. Eventually, the two parted, panting heavily while gazing at each other with half-lidded eyes.

 

Then Michio rested his head against Jiro’s chest. He had to speak. He had to let Jiro know about his feelings; he owed him at least that much. But he wasn’t sure if he could do it while looking at his face.

 

“When I’m with you, all my worries melt away. I feel happy around you, comforted by you. Like in whatever I do, you’ll be there behind me. Accepting me for my strengths and flaws. I can’t imagine I’d be the same man I am without you… as corny as this will sound, you complete me.”

 

He sighed, his grip on Jiro tightening as he whispered his next words.

 

“I love you too. So much. I’ve loved you for a long time.”

 

He looked up, smiling, an honest smile from his heart.

 

“That’s what’s been bothering me, too.”

 

Jiro laughed, his fingers stroking through Michio’s hair.

 

“We’re a couple of old fools, aren’t we?”

 

Michio chuckled. He still had trouble believing this was reality, that he wasn’t going to wake up alone in his lonely futon. But Jiro was there, in his arms, and he could feel the other’s heart beating against his chest.

 

They stood there, together, satisfied by each other’s presence. Neither made a noise save for their breathing, the clock in the distance ticking along to their heart’s rhythm.

 

Michio couldn’t help his yawn, tired from the alcohol, the warmth, and the emotional rollercoaster he was just subjected.

 

“Tired?”

 

Jiro laughed again, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

 

“Me too. Let’s go sleep.”

 

The two parted with some reluctance, before taking off their shoes and finally entering the room. They rolled out the futons and laid down facing each other, but neither seemed willing to close their eyes.

 

“I’m afraid if I go to sleep I’ll wake up to find this was a dream.”

 

Michio admitted, sighing an uneasy breath.

 

“Me too. But we should sleep. What do you say to us going out tomorrow? Somewhere together?”

 

Jiro smiled sleepily.

 

“Gives us something to look forward to, to encourage us to sleep.”

 

“Mm… Where to? Don’t say the cat café or horse racing.”

 

Michio murmured. Jiro grinned.

 

“You know me too well. Actually, I was going to suggest a movie. It’s horror, though, if you’re up for it?”

 

Michio yawned again.

 

“Sounds good to me… Goodnight, Yamashita-kun.”

 

He paused, before adding shyly,

 

“I love you.”

 

Jiro flushed, before replying,

 

“I love you too. Goodnight.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, it’s not that you should be scared… It’s just, you know, kinda traditional for these sort of dates to…”
> 
> Jiro trailed off as he cleared his throat. Michio simply cocked his head, confused.
> 
> “To… what? Yamashita-kun? Elaborate, please.”
> 
> Jiro scratched his head, looking far ahead of them.
> 
> “You know… when a couple goes to watch a horror movie, the girl ends up clinging to the guy during scary scenes or whatever…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL (NSFW) CHAPTER!!! we came so far yall it's crazy how fast time flies  
> it made me so happy to see people enjoyed this work so far, i was never much of a writer so i was very self-conscious about uploading these haha;; i hope this last chapter won't disappoint!
> 
> thank you to robin and egg for beta-reading!!!

That damned toaster will be the death of him, Jiro thought as he got up from his sheets and yawned. There was a now-familiar sound of eggs sizzling from the kitchen, awakening his empty stomach. It made him a little anxious, made the morning seem a little too regular… last night _did_ happen, right? He wasn’t just imagining things?

 

His unease was interrupted by the sight of Michio’s head peeking out of the kitchen door, much like the other day.

 

“Yamashita-kun, you’re awake. Breakfast is almost done, if you’ll take a seat by the table.”

 

Jiro’s stomach churned slightly at the sense of déjà vu, until Michio nervously added:

 

“Oh, and er… don’t come in yet, please.”

 

He flushed slightly before disappearing back into the kitchen, leaving Jiro curious as to what he could possibly be doing back there. Michio eventually emerged with two cups of coffee followed by two plates, placing them gently on the table.

 

On the plate was an egg-in-a-hole, the hole cut out in a heart shape.

 

Jiro blinked and looked up at Michio. His face seemed serious as usual, but his fingers were fidgeting slightly, like he was waiting for his reaction. Jiro couldn’t help his chuckle, feeling both immense affection and relief.

 

“Was… was it too much?”

 

Michio inquired, his ears starting to redden. Jiro shook his head and looked up at the other, smiling.

 

“No, it’s adorable. Thank you, Hazama-san. I love it.”

 

Michio’s ears reddened even more at that, but he smiled back at him. They both took a bite of their toast, preparing themselves for their date.

 

\--

 

Their date was interrupted by pouring rain.

 

The two were stuck in a bus stop, looking up at the rainclouds that seemingly came out of nowhere. Jiro scratched the back of his head in confusion, embarrassed their plans were ruined so early in the day.

 

“I swear they said it’d be clear today… stupid weather report.”

 

He laughed nervously, trying to ease off the tension. Michio didn’t seem amused, however, staring at their tickets intently. Jiro cleared his throat, awkwardly trying to fill the silence. He shifted uncomfortably before looking at his watch. 11: 15… Ten minutes before the movie start time. His phone told him there was still another eight minutes’ walk before they reached their destination. He sighed.

 

“Looks like we won’t be able to make it. Sorry, Hazama-san.”

 

“No.”

 

Jiro looked up, surprised by the reaction. Michio stared back at him, his glasses glinting in their characteristic manner.

 

“The average human walking speed is 5.0 km/h. We have to walk another eight minutes, or 2/15th of an hour. That means we have 2/3rds of a kilometer to travel. Based on our age, our running speeds should range from 11.4 km/h to 14.7 km/h. We can make it there in approximately three and a half minutes if we’re slow, and 2.7 minutes if we’re fast.”

 

He took out his hand, offering it to the other.

 

“I refuse to allow our first date to end like this. Let’s run for it, Yamashita-kun.”

 

Jiro was silent in awe for a moment, then smiled. He should have known someone as passionate as Michio wouldn’t let something like rain get in his way. They linked their hands, letting out a deep breath as they focused on the road ahead of them.

 

“One, two…!”

 

The two men dashed towards the theater, pushing themselves to run faster than they ever have before.

 

The city was empty of pedestrians save for the ex-teachers. People taking shelter in café and store entrances watched in confusion as they bolted past them, wondering where they could be running to in such a hurry this early in the day. Jiro was surprised he didn’t start lagging behind, and for once was glad he had to run all those mornings. They soon arrived at the theater, clothes soaked wet and exhausted to their bones. They trudged into the theater, dripping water all over the carpet and panting heavily before handing their tickets out to the startled theater employee.

 

“Two for… the 11:25 showing of… _The Amusement Park_ please…”

 

\--

 

“Iyaa~ That was real scary, huh?”

 

Jiro commented as they left the theater, stretching his body.

 

“You didn’t look all that scared during the movie though, Yamashita-kun. You didn’t look away from the screen once.”

 

Michio inquired as he felt his sleeve. Still damp.

 

“Mnn, really? Well, when things are scary… it makes me want to watch it all the more.”

 

Jiro admitted, and studied Michio’s face.

 

“You don’t seem all that scared from it either, Hazama-san.”

 

“Hm? Well, I simply thought it was a very educational experience… Should I be?”

 

Michio answered, concerned he was doing something wrong.

 

“Well, it’s not that you _should_ be scared… It’s just, you know, kinda traditional for these sort of dates to…”

 

Jiro trailed off as he cleared his throat. Michio simply cocked his head, confused.

 

“To… what? Yamashita-kun? Elaborate, please.”

 

Jiro scratched his head, looking far ahead of them.

 

“You know… when a couple goes to watch a horror movie, the girl ends up clinging to the guy during scary scenes or whatever…”

 

Michio blinked, before pondering the comment.

 

“Did you want me to cling to you, Yamashita-kun?”

 

The ex-chemistry teacher flushed and looked away, unable to answer. He started when he felt an arm around his own, warm body pressing against his side.

 

“You could have said so earlier. Perhaps this would have been more comfortable, I thought it was rather cold during the movie because of our wet clothes.”

 

“Ah, erm… yeah.”

 

Jiro stuttered, feeling a pounding in his chest. He was disheartened when Michio soon pulled back, already missing the contact.

 

“And no one would have complained in there, the theater was rather empty.”

 

Michio smiled bitterly, looking up at Jiro with saddened eyes. Jiro nodded as the realization hit, scratching the back of his head.

 

“Although I must question your assumption that I’d take the feminine role, Yamashita-kun.”

 

Michio spoke softly, Jiro barely hearing the statement.

 

“Huh?”

 

“So where to next? Shall we grab lunch?”

 

Michio said quickly, distracting him from the comment. Jiro nodded dumbfounded, unsure if he heard what he thought.

 

They made their way to a nearby café, ordering their food and sitting in one of the outdoor tables now that it was sunny. They were eating their sandwiches and chatting about the movie when a familiar voice hollered.

 

“Hazama-sensei!”

 

Ayumi jogged over to their direction, approaching their table excitedly.

 

“And Yamashita-sensei? Long time no see! I’ve been cheering for you upstage, too!”

 

Jiro laughed shyly, embarrassed by the mention of his performance.

 

“Great to see you, Ayumi. Have you been doing well?”

 

“Yeah! I’ve been great! Hmm? Maita-sensei isn’t with you? That’s rare.”

 

She pondered, cocking her head. Michio coughed, nervous about how this encounter might end up.

 

“Ah, yes, he isn’t with us today. It’s a special occasion for us, you see.”

 

He spoke slowly, picking his words carefully. The girl blinked, wondering what that could mean, before she gasped.

 

“You mean…? You don’t owe me steak dinner?!”

 

Jiro blanked, completely puzzled by the question. However, Michio knowingly nodded, adding to the girl’s surprise and to the man’s confusion.

 

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! That’s totally crazy! Oh, don’t worry, I’m not like _those_ people, I’m totally supportive! But oh my gosh, this is super huge!”

 

She clapped her hands together, suddenly realizing something.

 

“Oh! Oh! But that means… I’m interrupting something special! Oh jeez, I’m so sorry! But congratulations, Hazama-sensei! I’m so proud of you! I hope you two have a great time! Okay, okay, I’m shutting up now, I’m gonna go back to my friends! Have a great day you two!!”

 

Ayumi exclaimed as she backed up towards her friends, her words completely cryptic to Jiro. He picked up his coffee and took a sip before commenting.

 

“Strange girl. Good, but strange.”

 

Michio smiled, not knowing where he’d even begin to explain and simply decided not to.

 

“Yes, she is.”

 

\--

 

They returned to Jiro’s apartment early in the evening, tired of walking around in their drenched clothes. The warm, dry air of the room was a relief, both sighing in content as they entered. Jiro shuffled through his closet, producing their dry shorts and t-shirts they wore indoors and placed them next to him.

 

Michio took his shirt off casually as he waited, then froze when he noticed Jiro’s gaze. Jiro turned his head, trying to pretend he wasn’t staring, and began taking off his own shirt. When he popped his head out of his pullover, he found the other had walked closer, his top discarded onto the floor. Their bodies met, skin still slightly cold and damp, and they shivered as they wrapped their arms around each other. Michio’s face approached Jiro’s, his hot breath clashing against his own. They stared at one another for a moment, pupils starting to dilate as they realized what was to come next.

 

Their lips met gently, starting their kiss slow and tender. Michio ran his slender fingers against Jiro’s back, lazily counting the spines behind him. Jiro gasped slightly, breaking their kiss for a moment before returning with more fervor. The sounds they produced became breathier; wetter. In a moment their tongues were slipping against the other, entering and feeling the warmth of one another. Jiro began grinding his hips against Michio’s, the cloths of their pants dragging friction onto their needs. They moaned into each others’ mouths, feeling more heated and desperate by the second.

 

At perhaps the worst possible moment, the phone in the back of Jiro’s jeans began vibrating.

 

He ignored it at first, half-distracted by it but too occupied by Michio to care. Eventually, the ringing stopped to his relief, but soon started back up again. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, producing his phone to turn it off and finding the call was from Rui.

 

He sighed, and picked up his phone.

 

“Rui, I’m busy right now. I’ll call you back later.”

 

“ _Hey!_ I’m calling because I was worried about you and Mister Hazama, have some appreciation!”

 

Ah, right, they probably looked really suspicious last time. He pondered for a moment on an excuse to give his friend so he’d lay off for a bit when he felt a hand down his pants, on his crotch.

 

“Haah—! H-Hazama-san, hold up—”

 

“Turn off the phone.”

 

Michio growled in a low voice. His eyes were hungry behind his glasses as he looked up at Jiro, his fingers unrelenting as they stroked up and down, over his boxers. Jiro squirmed under him, trying his best to supress his groan.

 

“H-He’s going to come down here if I don’t—”

 

“Oh, is Mister Hazama there? Are you two fighting? I’m coming over!”

 

“No! Don’t come here—Aah!”

 

Jiro yelped as he felt himself pushed onto the floor, his phone dropping near their feet. Michio crawled up between his legs, peering up at the man with eyes filled with desire.

 

“I’m past pretending I haven’t been waiting for this.”

 

He zipped down Jiro’s jeans, pulling them past his legs and onto the floor, forgotten with their other garments. Jiro pushed himself up on his elbows, his eyes widening as he watched Michio pull his cock free, eyes focusing on them with want and mouth hovering nearby, heavy pants teasing sensations onto his member. He couldn’t help biting his lip with anticipation as the other inched his lips closer, his outstretched tongue nearly closing the gap, but not quite… so close that he could almost feel it, so close it was almost real, but not quite. Michio’s eyes looked back up at him, making eye contact, and he smirked, which he half felt with his cock through sheer proximity.

 

Jiro felt his heart drop at the sight, never having expected the other to have an ounce of mischief in him. It was… dangerously arousing, this new side of the man. He gulped, peering back at him with yearning.

 

“Hazama-san… please…”

 

He whispered, feeling helplessly impatient. Michio simply rubbed circles around his pelvis with his finger, continuing to tease.

 

“Please… what, Yamashita-kun? Elaborate.”

 

He commanded, not giving in. Jiro felt his face flush at the demand, letting out a shaky breath before admitting;

 

“Please… please suck my cock… with your hot mouth…”

 

He shut his eyes, beyond embarrassed at what he was forced to say. Soon he was rewarded, however, warm, wet sensation surrounding his dick, causing him to gasp and moan. He swore he could hear a distant “ _What the fuck?!”_ in English for some reason, but was too distracted by the swirling of Michio’s tongue on his member. Jiro half-opened his eyes, wanting to see how Michio looked.

 

Absolutely filthy—silvery locks bobbed on his hips as Michio sucked on him, his cheeked flushed bright red. He moaned as he took Jiro all the way back to his throat, then slid his mouth out completely, his tongue licking across the tip. His tongue slithered down to the base of his cock, gently kissing it with such fondness Jiro couldn’t help his shudder. He was confused, however, as he watched Michio’s head go lower, and lower…

 

Jiro yelped as he felt wetness against his hole, tongue licking across and inside where it shouldn’t. He threw his head back, unable to gauge what was exactly happening, wide eyes staring at the ceiling as he continued to feel hot, wet muscle against his ass. Michio continued his ministrations with such eagerness, licking and sucking at the area as if his life depended on it. Jiro arched his back, panting at the sensation he’d never felt, wondering where the other learned such obscene things.

 

He huffed in relief once the attention on his bottom stopped, wondering if it was bad that he enjoyed that as much as he did. His bleary eyes stared up at his roof for a minute, half curious as to where Michio suddenly went, when his face returned to his view, looking down at him.

 

“Did you enjoy that?”

 

He questioned nervously. Jiro nodded slowly, catching his breath.

 

“Mnn… surprisingly so. I didn’t know you knew that kind of stuff, Hazama-san.”

 

He admitted, to which Michio smiled in relief.

 

“I did some… research. While you were sleeping this morning. I want to do anything and everything to make you feel good, Yamashita-kun. Even if they may involve… perhaps some may call unsavory, practices.”

 

Jiro could hear a ‘pop,’ and looked down to find a small bottle in Michio’s hand. He squeezed it above his fingers, drizzling them with sticky liquid. The fingers rubbed together and spread the liquid around, which made Jiro’s heart palpitate with nervous anticipation.

 

“I love you so much, Yamashita-kun. Your pleasure is my pleasure. I want to make you feel good as much as I can make you… Feel so much pleasure you don’t know what to do with yourself, feel like there’s nothing but you and me and the bliss we cause each other.”

 

Michio’s fingers reached down, slick fingers rubbing at Jiro’s hole. One entered slowly, causing Jiro to squirm at the strange sensation. He could barely grasp Michio’s dangerous words as his mind focused on the thin digit’s penetration, its slow movements soon joined in by another. He shivered, starting to feel something build inside him, and couldn’t help but curl his toes as he tried to keep his composure.

 

Jiro couldn’t help his gasp as the fingers nudged against something inside him, his fingernails dragging lines against the floorboards. It was almost like a flash of light entered his vision, causing him to see stars.

 

“Good… I want to hear you, Yamashita-kun. Let your voice out.”

 

Michio said, before hitting his fingers against that spot once again. Jiro cried out, panting heavily as he felt the pleasure subside slowly, until he felt another brush of those digits consistently hit at that area. He couldn’t help his half-moan half-cries as his body writhed against Michio’s. Jiro wrapped his arms around the other, digging his fingers into the other’s shoulders in placement of his voice to beg; to stop the ministrations or to continue it, he wasn’t sure.

 

To both his disappointment and relief the fingers eventually stopped, and he realized he had started drooling at some point in the process. He was so fevered, so ready… for what, he didn’t know. He just wanted something more, and couldn’t wait for Michio to continue. He started kissing the other intensely, trying to abate the feeling in any way he knew.

 

Michio returned his kiss, his hands now rubbing at his thigh near his pelvis. He pulled away a little, to which Jiro grunted in frustration.

 

He smiled and gave the other a quick peck on the lips to satisfy him, before reaching down to unzip his own pants. Michio kicked them off and quickly returned to the other, placing himself between his legs and holding his own cock against the other’s ass. He let out a stuttered sigh, then said to Jiro;

 

“I’m putting it in, okay?”

 

Jiro nodded, watching in expectation. He couldn’t help his hiss as he felt the other enter him slowly, slightly overwhelmed by the idea of the other inside his body. They stilled for a moment once Michio was fully inside, catching their breath and trying to comprehend that yes, this was happening.

 

“I’m… I’m going to move…”

 

Michio barely whispered, trying to keep himself from thrusting as hard as he wanted to. He pulled back slowly, earning him a moan from Jiro that nearly broke his composure. He began moving at a slow, comfortable rhythm, allowing Jiro to get used to the feeling and let the pleasure build up.

 

“Does… does it feel good?”

 

Michio asked carefully, to which Jiro nodded. His hand was covering the bottom half of his face, feeling good but too ashamed to show it.

 

“You can… move faster... actually, _please_ move faster.”

 

His squeak was the cause of Michio’s downfall. He grabbed Jiro’s arms and pinned them above his head as he slammed into him, causing Jiro to cry out. Michio immediately picked up his pace, pounding into the other intensely and focusing onto that area he knew was the sweet spot. Jiro’s moans got louder and higher as he was slammed into harder and harder; tears began forming in his eyes, causing Michio to suddenly still in panic.

 

“Yamashita-kun?! I—”

 

He was interrupted when Jiro’s legs wrapped around his hips, pulling him closer.

 

“Don’t you _dare_ stop.”

 

Jiro hissed, gritting his teeth. Michio was startled but nodded, leaning forward to kiss Jiro as he picked his pace back up. Their kiss was now messy, clashing of lips and teeth as they desperately tried to reach their climax.

 

Jiro came first, his back arching as he let out a silent scream. Michio felt a sudden tightness around him, and slammed into the other erratically trying to hit his own orgasm. He followed suit shortly, convulsing as he came on top of Jiro, groaning loudly. They lay there together for a while, panting and sweating heavily, their bodies extremely satisfied.

 

They didn’t even realize as their trance turned into sleep, dreaming deeply and soundly in each others’ presence.

 

\--

 

Jiro woke to the sound of knocking on his door, eyes opening and feeling strangely refreshed. He tried to get up but something heavy was on top of him; he looked down to find Michio, laying on top of him naked as could be.

 

Oh, right.

 

He flushed, feeling completely dazed as he recounted the memory. Man, Michio could be a real monster, sometimes.

 

Michio groaned as he rose off of Jiro when the knocking wouldn’t stop, his glasses barely sitting on his face.

 

“What… who is that?”

 

Jiro wondered as well. He got up, putting on his boxers and shorts quickly before walking over to the door and looked into the peephole.

 

Rui was there, looking rather uncomfortable and confused. Jiro opened the door slightly.

 

“…Hey.”

 

Jiro said, wondering what might be up.

 

“ _Hey_.”

 

Rui answered, shifting awkwardly. He cleared his throat before continuing.

 

“Um, I heard… some things, over the phone last night…”

 

He scratched his head, refusing to make eye contact. Jiro’s memories of his phone flashed before his eyes clear as day, almost as if he was about to die. He slammed the door shut, his mind unable to deal with a situation as big as this so early in the morning.

 

Rui started knocking again, his muffled voice sounding from outside the door.

 

“ _HEY!_ I’m not here to, um, scold you, or yell at you, or anything like that! It’s okay! _Everything’s okay!_ It’s just… I wanted to know, if you guys were alright, and um… I was worried…”

 

Jiro opened the door again, his reddened face peeking behind it. Rui looked surprised for a moment, then smiled softly.

 

“Are you two okay?”

 

Jiro coughed, embarrassed, before answering.

 

“Yeah. We’re okay. Sorry for… you know… everything.”

 

The blonde shook his head.

 

“It was a little awkward, but you two are my best friends. Whatever you guys decide to do, I’m supportive. _One hundred percent._ I’ll be out of your hair now, since you seem to be alright.”

 

“Oh, Maita-kun. Good morning.”

 

Michio said behind Jiro, surprising the latter. Rui laughed.

 

“ _Good morning_ , Mister Hazama! I’m happy for you two, _love will find a way!_ I’ll see you two around!”

 

Rui said as he walked away, waving goodbye. The two men watched him as he disappeared, before Michio commented, adjusting his glasses.

 

“Strange boy. Good, but strange.”

 

Jiro chuckled, feeling another sense of déjà vu.

 

“Yes, he is.”


End file.
